…and just like that, i’m home.

For me anyway, the concept of “home” is an odd one and it is something that i’ve chatted about with others. Is “home”, however one defines it, an area? A building? A room? Is home the people? A person?
For me anyway home is really about having a bedroom, my own space, even if shared with another or others. True, if more rooms are involved, i’m even happier. But push to shove….the nurses home at Central Middlesex Hospital springs to mind… i can make myself at home, in a room, quite easily. Opposite that nurses home there was an old deserted children’s home that had escaping purple iris, galloping pink flowering currant bushes, wild and endless herbaceous borders with flowering shrubs around the edges and random bulbs providing endless blooms throughout the year so my bedroom usually had flowers.

A swift count tells me that this is my 27th bedroom. So it’s the 27th time that i’ve put down roots, invested emotional energy in a place, coaxed plants to grow, arranged photos on a handily available surface (gosh, that dates me!), it’s the 27th time that i’ve made decisions about where to place furniture. The 27th time that i’ve shaken my head and wondered yet again about my propensity to collect clutter.
We are almost there. There IS the minor matter of a previous home to sell, but matters are taking their natural course and i have no doubt that the right person is waiting to move in, to start their life in that part of North East Manchester that i grew to know and love so well. Initially (way back when) there were misgivings about living on the edges of a city, loathing suburbia it had to have easy access to wilderness and Moston Brook so near provided a much needed escape for me. Moston Brook with its damp and ever changing habitat.

So imagine my amusement to discover that our garden here in Scotland, is frankly a minor Moston Brook! But however tempting it might be, a Garden is not a publicly available wild space nor should it be treated in the same way. So no, i will not be encouraging swathes of bouncing meadowsweet, nor will our garden include banks of butterbur. For now at least, what grass is available must be cut….the thistles will not be allowed to grow….ground elder or dandelion can’t be allowed to flower along the boundary with our neighbour….and somehow, the rush will have to go away without forming damp, dank, colour-leached patches. Hedging plants need to occupy some gaps…..a massive towering bundle of old brambles and odd dead branches must be cleared….a few shrubs require rescuing…. but that apart, all we need to do is reclaim what was once a perfectly decent garden.
As far as gardening goes, I’m not great at destruction. But here? Here there needs to be some fairly tough ground rules:

1) Thistles and brambles are banished. If we want blackberries there are perfectly acceptable thornless varieties and don’t start me on the thistle.

2) Eating ground elder/ sorrel/ dandelion is not a rational form of weed control, not in this garden …

3) That old adage of ‘Less is More’ is a very good place for us to start…and also remain for a little while longer.

4) Rush in one’s garden is neither acceptable nor helpful. Some people might want to weave with them and suchlike, i don’t. They can go and the sooner the better. I’ve been told about and shown nicely mown areas that were once rush infested. So i know that without recourse to draining the land it is possible to heavily discourage their existence in a garden. It shall be so.

5) Gardening on into the evening is now out. (Midges)

Excuse me, there are about three years depth of dead rush to rake out.

Oh…and would i go back to living in England or on the edge of a city?
Nope!
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May

This month there have been a few conscientious decisions made that have made a deal of difference to my daily life and at hardly any cost to myself.
So here goes, with a hope that it reminds me as much as gives pause for thought to anyone else:

* Sunshine is to be captured, so i have taken every single chance to sit, stand, walk or work in Any available sunshine!

* Given the chance of walking beside greenery or along grey roads, i have chosen the green option….safety permitting.

* My internal monologue sometimes sinks, so as an antidote i have taken to consciously noticing my surroundings. The small and apparently insignificant as well as the obvious and grand.

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* Eating processed food on a regular basis is not agreeing with me. So without creating a matrimonial scene i’ve decided to eat what i want, when i want, at the times when i have responsibility for my own food. I feel heaps better!

* Communication is a two way street, even if they are family or close friends. There is no point in keeping myself awake half the night worrying my socks off over unimaginable nonsenses. I’ve gave that up for Lent and NOT picked that particular bag up again afterwards.

* Life is short. Events of the past few years have taught me to treasure each and every day. Therefore…i am not going to fill any more days with matters that drive me bananas, unless i am being paid for it AND i have the choice Not To Go Back There Again!

* Life is short….etc etc etc….therefore i might very well choose to fill my days with matters that bring joy and delight to my soul and that make me smile. Thank the Good Lord Above, my fella agrees with me, even if he doesn’t exactly share my delight in ….oh….choral evensong was the last occasion.

 

And when i forget all this stuff…….?

Yeah, it usually ends up pretty much like this!

 

 

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April

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Our life is getting a tad more crowded than we had planned for 2017 to be at this stage. So one way of winding down has been to make things; stuff that can be used, handled, held and considered as my days unfold. A new purse was called for as the previous one finally gave up and this wool kinda called out to me from the bottom of a charity shop box. And there was a question over the solitary earring….. they look quite good together, i think?

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I’m a tactile kinda person, there is no earthly use my having a diary online… dear me no, got to be able to hold it in my hands. So earlier on in the year i arrived early for a course, settled myself in a cosy armchair, with a good view, decent cup of tea, pair of scissors, sellotape for covering the final object, glue and a pile of magazines and freebies. The end result is pleasing ( well for me anyway!),  has started many conversations and ensures that i am where i ought to be with + with the correct clobber…..

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Slowly, I’m reclaiming the small things about living which bring pleasure and simplicity. Working with my hands, both for pleasure and also for necessity in work, is bringing a degree of peace …..and dare i say it, tranquility too.

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In other areas of life the home smells of tea tree oil, is draped about with drying washing and the dog paw bled all over the living room floor this week, shortly after the cat threw up over the kitchenish area…….

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In this anonymous space i can say……

….that i have just shrunk two, woollen, long, gorgeous jumpers that my beloved husband bought back (this week) from his travels in the south of our country.

 

In my defence……(slight)…..tiredness played a part.

 

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So

Am i cross?

Upset?

Amused?

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Those emotions (as yet unidentified) are galloping around my entire body!

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October

Ate what really was the very last of our wild strawberries 🙂

Hauled most of the plants o-u-t of our front garden soil and into pots- tidying that little patch up until it looks Suitably Suburban and actually not like something that is to do with me at all……

Walked the hound until he stopped and asked to go home again!

Forgot to make jam.

 

[That last one can be sorted later, the fruit is in the freezer &  local blackberry bushes are all done and dusted. Time for sticky work surfaces another day…….]

Today really was a day for sitting in the sunshine and sieving soil, a time and a space to be comfortable and to have my hands in compost ….that i have nurtured! OK. The nails could look  better but then again, acrylics are not really my thing ( to put it mildly….) so that’s ok. The front now looks uncomfortably not like my garden! But this needs to happen. And the only way to get from where we are now….to where we want to be….is to sort our home and sort the garden ….and at some point in time……..decide what to do next.

 

  • There is another grandchild to be introduced to, this must happen and soon.
  • Am taking a few days out this week , long overdue.
  • Old friends are resurfacing, just like the yummy autumnal mushrooms that are also appearing all over the place. Other friends are moving. So a totally new address book calleth
  • Work requires a certain ’embedding’

 

In short……my roots are being distinctly loosened.

 

 

 

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We’ve eaten outdoors lots this year……this was maybe my favourite meal  🙂

 

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Spider

We have a resident spider guarding our recycling bin………

 

Honestly this autumn has now started and i’m not at all impressed.

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Yes, I’m bigger than it.

Yes, I am singing all the “spider in the bath” songs.

Yes, this is ridiculous.

 

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No, i do not appreciate spiders waving at me from their perches (MY perch actually, that recycling bin is Mine, not his/hers).

No, it is not everso grown up to scream.

No, i am not proud of removing myself from the kitchen.

 

 

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I am going out.

Urgh